i took a train into the town i had my reasons even if i couldn't understand them but it wasn't even worth it at all was already gone by the time i pulled into the station i felt so stupid, peoplewatching patiently wasted my whole evening on something i didn't need i felt so silly, like i never was taught any better i feel like i might fall out filling up with doubt holding onto air pulling off a hair from my sweater never even met her you know what i mean i took a walk to clear my head it didn't really make me feel any better and it just filled me up with dread don't pay no mind, this is stupid, this is reckless, and i i felt so anxious by the time i went inside i could taste the smoke and i almost wanted to cry i felt so obsessive like i never was taught any better called your name... i feel like i'm falling out never had a doubt spitting out my air not a single care isn't this lovely? aren't we so lucky? you know what i mean.

i'll get it done one of these days, i'll get it through to you i wanna make this right i really wish that i was with you tonight there's a light that floats around my room bounces off the walls and i swear to god, i can get it done i will get it done just wait for me can you wait for me (before you fall asleep?) can you wait for me (before you fall asleep?) can you wait for me (before you fall asleep?) can you wait for me (before you fall asleep?) i'll be alright, just give us time

had a lazy morning because i could barely sleep ramen noodles and eggs for breakfast, about 1:15 couldn't stop replaying the memory of what you tried to say to me half a reaction and half a sentence spoken when i had to leave browsing through an endless stream of curated content endlessly waiting very patiently for my day to begin hard to find an excuse to stay out late i fucking hate taking the train the bummer wave is closing in and i don't really want to leave do you think of me after i leave and do you remember the things that i said to you and do you think of me after i leave and do you remember me after i leave? can i get a second? can you give us time? if you want to get to know me can we just rewind? living lives with shaky morals never resting on our laurels can you blow my mind forevermore sometime before i have to leave? this is all i write about. anxiety and love fear of making any moves, but never scared enough. voyeurs! every listener by chance more than by choice what's the point of writing songs if i can't stand my voice? i don't want to leave do you think of me after i leave and do you remember the things that i said to you and do you think of me after i leave and do you remember me after i leave and do you think of me? do you remember me after i leave? (i don't want to leave.)

i didn't know you had such callused fingers like scales in my soft hands i tried to breath you in forever i want a body you could call your own and take with you in your pocket or wear me like an overcoat there's something in between the thoughts we think and what they mean do the things you say mean anything? they're everything and nothing to me. and i don't know what i really want just an excuse i got confused i didn't know you had such callused fingers and i'll tear them all off if i think they'll make you feel a little more real... AND i can't get away from i guess ur a distraction chemical reaction come here boy, i love ya BRUTAL HANDS AND CALLUSED FINGERS i wanna wear u like a crown    uwu touch ur body up and down can u get me off the ground touch me with your callused fingers BRUTAL HANDS AND CALLUSED FINGERS BRUTAL HANDS AND CALLUSED FINGERS BROKEN BONES AND CALLUSED FINGERS PAPER SKIN AND CALLUSED FINGERS BONY CHEST AND CALLUSED FINGERS BLOODSHOT EYES AND CALLUSED FINGERS BLOODY NOSE AND CALLUSED FINGERS PRETTY BRUISE AND CALLUSED FINGERS MATTED HAIR AND CALLUSED FINGERS RIPPED APART AND CALLUSED FINGERS NOTHING LEFT AND CALLUSED FINGERS ALL ALONE AND CALLUSED FINGERS BRUTAL HANDS AND CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED FINGERS CALLUSED F

you left me standing there out in the rain that's no surprise to me i would've done the same i said that it's alright and you weren't rude but even so, it was a shitty thing to do. you wrote a card for me you wrote my name you got the letters wrong but the meaning was the same there's still a lot of secrets that i keep from you but even so, that was kind of you to do