Sweating on the sheets, Toss-and-turning, and I'm moaning when I sleep. Daylight breaking through the cracks, I don't know how to relax. Wearing headphones, music keeps my mind off of the subject. You're not the King of Carrot Flowers. Jeff Mangum doesn't care about you. In the shower, pressed my hand against the wall. Moaned your name into my arm. We love the same, just different people in different ways. I hear your voice in all the music, see your face in films Like Butch held hands with the Sundance Kid, I think of all the stuff we should've did. Hip hip hooray! Lovers on parade! Hip hip hooray! Lovers on, They're marching in the summer heat Up and down Good-Latimer Street. I'm sitting in the corner. Skylar snuggles up on Riley. When you're looking through my eyes, It feels like they know I'm watching And I'm anxious. Holding on to shallow hope, Just a dream before the dream. When you wake me, Just be careful when you shake me from my sleep. My desire: don't you know I am a liar? Dealing with these brand new demons If you walk away, I'll doubt you ever happened What we want and what we need, All the faces we can see, I'm not a poet But words have never come so easily. Hip hip hooray! Lovers on parade! Hip hip hooray! Lovers coming round the bend and down the hill, Smoking by the windowsill. A brutal fantasy of Oak Lawn, A.D. 1990. Two lovers in each other's arms Swore they'd be together at the end. Lonely is as lonely does. We both want what we each think is good for us. I envy those who never fall in love. Hip hip hooray! Lovers on parade! Hip hip hooray! Lovers on parade! Hip hip hooray! Lovers on parade! Hip hip hooray! Lovers through the window, out the door. Lovers on parade forevermore.

Was it a lie? Was it a hoax? Was it a trick or just some joke? Or was it just my luck To find out you don't give a damn? Why am I left out to dry? You left me hanging when I stood by. Haranguing thoughts smash through my conscience You wouldn't know that it's unconscious. I could beat myself black and blue For thinking the things that I think of you Because it's not meant to be It's a sign of mental entropy and social atrophy, it seems. You won't give me the time of day. You won't pay me any mind. Anything I wanted to say Was just a matter of wasted time...

Jillian That's not your name, but I'll call you Jillian. You don't look the same as when I last saw you. You changed your hair, I think, oh Jillian. Jillian You brought me here today, my Jillian. I'm not the same as when you last saw me. You affected me affectionately. Can't you see what you have done to me? Permanently altered the course of human history. Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go? Or why did I leave? Jillian Who wrote the Book of Love, oh Jillian? It could be god above, oh Jillian Because there's fraying in the pages And there's plot holes everywhere And it's been like that for ages And this isn't about you, Jill. And I'm so unprepared. And I'm a little bit scared. Cause there's a ghost inside my memory And there's an ocean in your head And there's a ghost inside your memory And an ocean in mine Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go? Why did I ever leave? Leave... Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?

Ghost In the back of my mind Can you hear me? I am fine. Though I'm stressed About life And my future, I can't lie. There's a fork Down the road, It has countless Different tines. I'm not there yet, But I'm already regretting The choices I have yet to make. What have I done? Am I dumb? Am I selfish? Am I blind? Just to think I put all my faith in A basket with holes in the side. I'm not depressed, Just a mess. Would I do it all again? I'm not sure, So I'm writing you this letter. I hope you have it figured out by now. Ghost In the back of my mind, I can feel you. Please remind Me to be more at peace And to take my precious time. Life's a bitch, This I know. Just remember: Take it slow. Take a breath, And if you find yourself anxious, Hold the hands of someone else who's anxious too.

Keep it with your leftovers. You can't keep crying about her. It's your own fault things turned out this way. Now hold your head up, it'll be OK. You met her in the summertime, And every day since then you've looked at her picture. Now autumn's here, Now nothing's clear, You're looking through heart eyes and thinking to yourself "Oh lovely, oh lovely, oh lovely, oh lovely, oh lovely..." Every night you listen to her songs And hope to god she's listening to yours. Every time the answer's just the same as the other times. Throw a dog a bone. Try to see what sticks. Try to find the pieces and where they fit. Try to write a song. Try to pray to god— try and see if it cares, if it's even there. *unhinged scat singing* Oh lovely, oh lovely, oh lovely, oh lovely, oh lovely... (that's it. that's the record)